The Gender Bent Fic!
by Sahfas
Summary: Team 7 is opposite genders! Pure and mindless stupidity awaits all those wish to read this complete and utterly demented fic. DISCONTINUED (for good reason)
1. Part 1

Thy Holy Notes: Right. >3 What is this fic? It's a retarded little story my friend Jenn-chan and I wrote at 1-ish in the morning, after she showed me this funny unfinished picture she was doing of Sakura, Naruto, Sasuke as opposite genders. Needles to say, it was quite amusing trying to picture a female Kakashi... XD;;; ::coughs:: Anyway, we are sorry for any mutilation of characters, as they are very OOC on many occasions. This is purely for the crazy humor that some people might get out of this. Also, fear the horrible and quite lazy editing of purely basic story format.

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. Kishimoto Masashi does though. We just take the worthless credit of writing this freakafied thing that probably barely qualifies as a fic.

**Naruto: The Gender Bent Fic!**

It was another early morning in the Leaf Village. Team 7 waited for Kakashi-sensei to arrive while they stood at their usual spot.

Naruto bounded to the group in a bundle of energy. "_Ohayo_~ Sakura-kun!! ^-^" 

Sasuke stood leaning on the rail in all her superior attitude glory, and glared at Naruto. "... ¬_¬;" _Grah, damn Naruto... always so annoyingly hyper. And going after Sakura, too..._>

Naruto noticed Sasuke's glare. A thin frown creased her lips. _...why is she glaring at me..?_ ¬_¬?> "What're you looking at??"

Sasuke realized she was thinking about Sakura while staring at Naruto. Embarassed, she turned away, her cheeks pink. "Nothing, just shut up."

Sakura eyed Sasuke, watching her lean against the rail. He was smiling cooly. "_Ohayo gozaimasu_, Sasuke-chan... Naruto. >D What are you lovely ladies doing? ^_~" He noticed Sasuke's flushed face and walked up closer to her, bending slightly to reach her slightly shorter height. "Ah, Sasu-chan, is anything the matter? You're blushing..." Teasingly, he brushed her cheek. "My, your cheek is a little warm; is there anything I can do to help~?" 

Sasuke blinked twice before leaping back from Sakura. "O//O!! N-n-no...! I'm fine! Just a little hot from the heat!" _What the hell! You moron! It's not summer!!_>

Naruto just stared, watching from the side. "O_O .... TT___TT Sakura-kun...." She whined before suddenly becoming enraged. "SasuKEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" She shouted, getting high pitched at the end.

Sasuke focused on Naruto and drowned out her embarrassed affection/fear with smugness/anger. "Is the dobe jealous? >:)" she asked, grinning slyly.

Naruto sprung so close to Sasuke that the could've kissed. "Jealous of what?? Some jerk of a girl who's less endowed that me?" With a smug grin, Naruto flaunted just enough to show her more prominent chest.

Sasuke flamed up in rage. "You're dead, dobe!!"

Sakura watched in slight amusement, a small chuckle escaping his lips, before cocking his head to the side. "_Yare yare_..." He walked over to the girls and held Naruto by the shoulder, kneeling so that he was eye-level with her. "Naru-san, you shouldn't scream at Sasu-chan for nothing. >0 And to be honest, Kakashi-sensei is more well-endowed than both of you." He paused to grin for a moment. "But Sasu-chan is cuter~" 

"What about me being well-endowed? :'D" came the voice of Kakashi, sounding ever so amused. 

Sakura jumped at his teacher's voice, and pinwheeled on his heels until he spotted the Jounin kneeling on a tree branch. "O//o;; AH!"

"Why Sakura-kun I didn't know you had such comments about me." Kakashi teased, and jumped down from the tree to walk over to Sakura, smiling underneath her facial cloth as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"S-sensei... o////o;;" Sakura feebly managed to say.

Sasuke and Naruto were both stunned silent. "O_O ...." That is, until then they processed what Sakura said about Kakashi. "TT__TT"

"We've been dumped for an older woman..." Sasuke wept.

Naruto noded, sniffling. She watched Kakashi wrap an arm around Sakura. "H-hey~ SenSEI~!! Don't you touch Sakura-kun like that!!" She tackled Kakashi's arm and tried to pry her off Sakura.

Sasuke watched from the side, glaring at Kakashi. Helping Naruto would've been a small blow to her pride. But the real reason why she didn't intervene was that she couldn't stop Kakashi-sensei, and that hurt her on the inside. _Dammit, this sucks,_>

Kakashi snatched Naruto by the collar and threw her off. "Aww, Naru-chan, you don't have to get angry~" She called, holding Sakura closer to her chest, cuddling him. "Isn't that right, Sakura-kun?"

Sakura's nose began to bleed. "o/////////////////////o umph..." 

"See? ^_^ He agrees~" Kakashi said too cutely. 

Naruto sprung up from landing on the ground. ">:O Ka..! Kakashi-sensei!!!!" She grabbed Sakura's arm and pulled really hard. "Let him GO!! He's mine!!"

Sasuke continued to watch, quite disturbed. "O_o;;" Her eyebrow twitched as Kakashi pulled Sakura closer to her rather defined chest. _That.. that is going too far!!_> "Sensei!!" she shouted, appalled. "What the hell are you doing to Sakura?!" She demanded, falling into a more offensive half crouch as her half outstretched fist shook in anger. "Let him go!" _Shit, even I can't watch this go on! Not with Sakura!_> Sasuke rushed up to kick Kakashi in the back of the head.

Being a Jounin, Kakashi ducked her head and easily avoided the hasty kick. As the Sasuke's foot flew overhead, Kakashi grabbed it. "Sake-chan..." she said calmly as she swung Sasuke at Naruto. Sasuke's hands went SLAP into Naruto's face and side, causing Naruto enough momentary pain to let go of Sakura. "...That..." Using the momentum already bestowed on Sasuke, Kakashi let her fly off. "..was very..." Before Sasuke had the chance to right herself in the air and land, Kakashi was already behind her. The teacher caught her student, but immediately afterwards she threw the sole Uchiha her at Sakura. "...reckless."

".___. uh..." Sakura was left holding Sasuke a little awkwardly.

Kakashi turned to Naruto. "...and that was plain stupid. >3" She told her simply before stretching her arms. "And that's the lesson for today~" she said before skipping away. 

"._. ..... o_o; Se-se-SENSEI!!! Where the hell are you going?!" Sakura shouted after her. 

Kakashi turned her head. "I'm going to go back to sleep. Wanna join me? ^_~" 

Sakura gulped. "o///////o;;" He shut up and backed down, still holding Sasuke awkwardly.

"Good boy. :D" Kakashi commented, and then promptly left.

"....A...aaa.... @___@;;;" Sasuke mumbled, dizzy.

Naruto was speechless for a moments. ".____. ... Kakashi-sensei!!! Get back here! I wanna kick your ass!! XO" She screamed, jumping around and yelling some more.

Sasuke revived, after hearing Naruto's yelling. "_Itai yo_.... >_ What just happ--" She stopped mid sentence and looked up at Sakura, who was still holding her. "..ened....? o////o Sa-Sakura..? Why're you..?"

Naruto still ranted on and jumping around, mindless of what was going on. "Kakashi-sensei is a total bitch!!"

Sakura stared down at Sasuke, seeing her blush, and smiled. "Aa, hi. ^_^" [Inner Sakura: SCORE! XDD] Still holding Sasuke's shoulder's, he pushed her slightly so he could see her fully. "Are you hurt? :0" he asked, concerned, and brushed away a stray strand of hair from her forehead. "^^ Wa, cute as always." [inner Sakura: insert sleazy line>] 

Sasuke continued to stare blankly for a moment, then blushed at Sakura's comment, darting her eyes away. "N-no.. I'm not hurt." _Must. Keep. 'Cool' attitude... Must. Keep.... gawd, why is this so hard?!_> "....." Sasuke began a mental war with herself, debating on whether or not to let Sakura hold her more, or break out of his hold.

Naruto finally noticed the two, and seizured in rage. "XO HEY!!!!!"

Sasuke blinked over at Naruto before a devilish grin appeared on her face. _On second thought..._> She loosely wrapped her arms around Sakura's waist. _Haha.. take that, Naruto!!_> >3 

********

And that's all we got to writing. >3; Comments, criticism... hell, flames are welcome too. We know we are totally frelling up character, but it's fun. ^^ Ahah... next installment coming whenever we get around to thinking up more weirdness.


	2. Part 2

Thy Holy Notes: Wow XD; I don't think either of us expected to get any reviews, and especially about us continuing this uberly weird story. o_o Arigatou, minna-sama~ ^^ We're very sorry for this short, erm.. chapter thing. For various reasons (including lack of motivation) we weren't able to finish it, and probably never will. T_T

Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto. Kishimoto Masashi does though. We just take the worthless credit of writing this freakafied thing that probably barely qualifies as a fic.

**Naruto: The Gender Bent Fic!  
Part 2 O_O;**

Not long after the whole incident that morning, Naruto, being her easily distractible self, grew rather hungry and suggested that tehy eat at Ichiraku. Both hungry as well, Sasuke and Sakura followed the ever energetic fox child to her favorite restaurant.

Looking up from serving a customer, the owner of the restaurant smiled at Naruto as the gang walked up. "Hey, Naruto-chan! Back again, as always! And you brought friends this time."

Naruto grinned at the owner with a small nod. "I would never miss a meal here! And these guys are on my team. This is," she started, blushing as she motioned to Sakura. "Sakura-kun, and the femless girl is Sasuke."

Upon hearing the remark, Sasuke's eye began twitching. I knew I shouldn't have come.... dammit, why the hell did I come anyway?> she muttered within her mind as she sent Naruto an uberly vicious death glare. "Who are you calling femless, _dobe_?"

"Stop calling me that!!!" Naruto yelled, spinning back to send her own glare at Sasuke.

Sakura waved at the owner and frowned at Naruto's comment. "Sasu-chan isn't femless, she's just as female as you are so don't tease her! It's a wonder why no one teases you about your boyish-ness, Naruto-KUN." He stressed the 'kun'. "Demooo... I'm too hungry to yell at people... _oi_, Ouji-san!" He motioned for the one who greeted Naruto. "Could you seat us please? I'm getting pretty hungry..."

Naruto immediately shut up at being called 'kun' Sakura thought she was boyish??? The world froze over for Naruto. Her head slumped on her shoulders, as she felt despair well in her stomach.

Sasuke merely sneered at Naruto, letting out an amused 'hmph'.

The owner turned back around and bowed his head slightly in apology. "Sorry sonny. You three can have those seats on the end. That's where Naruto-chan usually sits." He turned back around to fix a bowl of ramen for the customer he had been attending to, and then returned his attention back on the group again. "Oh, and what you two like? I already know Naruto's order."

"A regular bowl," Sasuke replied in a smooth, if a bit too confidant voice before making her way to where the owner suggested them to sit.

"I'm boyish..... T_T" Naruto mumbled dejectedly to herself, just standing pitifully.


End file.
